That is all.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
disappointed
That is all.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
annoyed
My phrase in English: "I am the mayor of Cranky Town."
Translated into Spanish: "Soy el alcalde de la ciudad irritable."
Translated into French: "Je suis le maire de la ville irritable."
Translated into Greek: "Είμαι ο δήμαρχος της οξύθυμης πόλης."
Translated into English: "I am the mayor of [oxythymis] city."
Hooray for Telephone 2.0!
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
depressed
nostalgicGetting the Elder Son out of the house was hilarious, seeing as it took him longer than 30 minutes to get dressed. That's one of the wonderful things about ADHD -- it makes it hard for him to focus on anything before his meds kick in (let's not talk about how much it kills me to have to medicate my kid so heavily every day just so he can function properly).
Once I got home from dropping him off at school, I spent some time checking my gmail account, which I hadn't looked at since before Memorial Day Weekend. Oh, the wonders that awaited me! Fortunately, there weren't any new job offers or cash opportunities with time limits, but I figure that since I shave my head I would have been safe had there been anything that would have otherwise caused me to pull out my hair (it's not for nothing that I got a "CAUTION: Shakes Fist at Sky" ribbon at the con; really, I do spin, just on the inside).
After the Wife and Younger Son woke up, he and I played for a while and I did some more email and job searching. The Wife and I had breakfast while watching last week's Dr. Who (hooray, TIVO!), and then it was time to put the Younger Son down for his nap. After reading him a couple stories, I left him with his mother in the bedroom, and took off to do some errands.
My errands consisted of going to my ex-boss' house to pick up some paperwork related to the arbitration for which I get to fly to Palm Desert next week. Nobody was at the house, so I left a note for her brother-in-law ("He'll be at the house all day.") to call me when he got in. Then I drove to our county EDD to get some job search help from their veteran's benefits coordinator. That took a couple hours, and then I got a call from the brother-in-law saying he was back. I picked up the paperwork, then found out that the same county building also housed the office where one applies for food stamps (yeah, the fact that we're at the point of needing to even consider it literally makes me nauseous). Unfortunately I got there too late for the 90-minute application process, so will have to go back another day.
As it turns out, the Younger Son had not actually slept when the Wife put him down for the nap earlier in the day (he just spread toothpaste all over the bathroom and bedroom while she slept), so when I got home late in the afternoon, she had finally gotten him down and was again asleep herself. While I waited for them to wake up, I cleaned our gutter (which gathers dirt and trash, and grows algae thanks to a weird runoff spout right next to our house). While I was doing this, the neighbor's kids informed me that they will be moving out this coming Saturday. Yes, the hillbillies are finally leaving! Let's hope they take the rusty cars and dog poop with them.
Anyway, that's about it. I feel like crap, and have decided to have a couple beers tonight instead of my usual method of stress-release, going to the gym. Fat Tire down, Guinness to go.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood: depressed
Yup.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood: depressed
I have recently been informed by several friends that age discrimination runs rampant through today's job search community. Wrinkles, bald spots and grey hair are supposed indicators of an inability to work long hours, an unwillingness to work for lower wages and an outdated education or knowledge set. Consequently, many of these friends have dyed their hair or shaved off their beards and mustaches altogether, and I have heard through family members of acquaintances who have gone so far as to endure Botox injections to smooth wrinkled brows.
Until today, I had managed to dismiss such concerns in relation to my own job search. I reasoned -- perhaps naively, perhaps justly -- that if I could only get as far as an interview, the substantial amount of prematurely white whiskers hanging from my chin would be ignored once my professionalism and potential benefits to the organization became obvious. However, the crushing weight of more than a years' worth of fruitless attempts to find a new career finally came to a head, and I decided this morning that a little cosmetic adjustment might be in order.
To that end, I purchased your product, Just For Men Brush-In Color Gel for Mustache, Beard & Sideburns. Arriving home this evening, I followed the instructions exactly as printed, mixing equal parts of the solution, brushing them thoroughly into my beard, waiting 5 minutes and then rinsing and washing with a gentle shampoo.
The box advertises that your product "Targets only gray for a natural look." From the results I experienced, I can only assume that this statement actually means that the product highlights the gray by darkening only the hairs that still have their original, natural color. Instead of achieving the more youthful, vibrantly natural light brown that was my goal, I ended up with chestnut bordering white. Rather than once again darkening the browns and intesifying the whites by attempting a second application, I instead opted to cut off my beard and begin afresh.
This of course revealed the moonlike appearance that can only be achieved by one who is both bald and devoid of facial hair, and has been overweight for several years. Although I am now more babyfaced than before, this is not quite the age-defying look that was my goal. While your company can not be blamed for my hilarious double chin, I do hold you accountable for failing to make good on your product's claims. I would appreciate a full refund of the purchase price, and expect some response as to whether said refund will come from Combe Incorporated directly, or should be pursued with the fine retail establishment at which I made the purchase.
Sincerely,
[The Man]
- Location:The Man
- Mood: annoyed
Originally posted May 25, 2008:
I caught these guys filming a low-budget movie AT the convention.
The Zissou Society made an appearance as well. They appear to have caught a leopard shark baby. Revenge is a dish best served while wearing a red stocking cap.
EDIT: As J9 and Kimmie ought to be able to tell by now (hopefully they've read this on a full-sized monitor), what they decided to call "Tasty Log" is in actuality the loose end of a belt. You officially need to get laid. Again.
San Leandro sold life insurance to the F.L.A.R.E. power couple. Term only, unfortunately.
He was not so successful with Aragorn and Boromir.
And Jack Sparrow tried to get matching doubloons for a 401K plan.
Busy busy busy. Not sure I'll post again until Tuesday (if I can get any more photos at all).
- Location:Gofer Hole
- Mood:
bouncy
In the course of my recent image spree I had occasion to stumble upon this website: betterbreasts.net, which promises "natural breast reduction." As an avowed feminist who is concerned about health issues regarding the other gender, I of course clicked on a link from the site that advertised "natural breast augmentation," in case any of my spiritual sisters were to inquire as to where they might find such a service (heh, boobies). Here's that other site: breast-augmentation-pills.com.
This is all my long-winded way of saying that both sites use the same photo of a woman (who looks an awful lot like Charisma Carpenter) measuring her boobs. Now my question is, do you think this is false or misleading advertising, just par for the course, or something else entirely? Using the same photo for explicitly different products is one thing, but using it for products that have similar yet opposite purposes seems to me something else, although I can't put my finger on exactly what.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
mellow - Music:The melodious sounds of my son waking up
1. If you're going to have a bar called "Chicago Freddie's" and you opt to flank the front door with life-sized statues of the Blues Brothers, make sure they're wearing shades, jackass.
2. One-hundred degree temperatures and palm trees cause a weird visual disconnect when they are backed by snow-capped mountains.
3. Rich people suck balls. Driving to the law office with one of my compadres, we passed a public elementary school. "Look around, you, Jimmy," I said. "There's all these beautiful golf courses, manicured lawns, fountains everywhere; the money and engineering to make this wasteland green is astounding. Then why the fuck are they forcing their kids to play on sand and dirt!?"
4. Last night's meal was delicious all around. A Caesar salad (can we spot a trend here?) followed by a large, well seasoned NY strip steak, mashed potatoes (including skins, thank you!) and grilled asparagus, washed down with two Fat Tire beers. Unfortunately, we got there late enough that the kitchen was closed before we got a chance to order dessert.
- Location:Embassy Suites Palm Desert Resort
- Mood:Ready to leave
Herein begins a new experiment where I post photos of San Leandro. "Who is San Leandro," you ask?
A few weeks ago I had lunch with the Sister, her coworker and another friend of ours at Sashimi Boat in Berkeley, and as we were leaving I noticed a paper cutout of a man holding a briefcase sitting on the table they use for leaflets. I picked it up to look at it and the Sister said "Take it!" So I did.
The back of the cutout included a message promoting the city of San Leandro, which is immediately to the south of Oakland. Part of the bold print proclaimed "I AM SAN LEANDRO!" So of course, I have now named this little man San Leandro. I have been carrying him around in my backpack ever since, trying to decide what to do with him, and my current trip to Palm Desert has finally given me the answer.
So much like the Travelling Gnome and other such efforts, I have taken on the wholly unoriginal task of carrying San Leandro with me, taking photos whenever I can be bothered to remember it and hopefully not destroying his fragile paper body in the process. Wish him luck.
- Location:Embassy Suites Palm Desert Resort
- Mood:
bored
Here's how it works.....
1. Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question type the song that’s playing. When you go to a new question press the “next” button.
5. Take what you want.
1. Opening Credits: Journey to Fort Sedgewick from John Barry's score to "Dances with Wolves"
2. Birth: Password from Paul Oakenfold's soundtrack to "Swordfish"
3. Waking up: He Prayed from Sinéad O'Connor's "Throw Down Your Arms"
4. Falling In Love: Amon Hen from Howard Shore's score to "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring"
5. Sex: Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle from Cake's "Motorcade of Generosity"
6. Lusting: Where Do the Children Play? from "The Very Best of Cat Stevens" (okay, that's kinda creepy)
7. Cooking Dinner: I'm Not Your Baby from Sinéad O'Connor's "Collaborations"
8. Walk in the Park: Italian Leather Sofa from Cake's "Fashion Nugget"
9. Working out at the gym: Where There's Gold from Seal's "Seal IV"
10. Fight Scene: Peggy Gordon from Sinéad O'Connor's "Sean-Nós Nua"
11. Breaking Up: I Cried for You from "The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Vol. 2 (1936)"
12. Secret Love: Batterdammerung from Elliot Goldenthal's score to "Batman Forever"
13. Life's Okay: Yellow Betray Blue from Howard Shore's score to "Copland"
14. Mental Breakdown: Mirangula: Sign of the Crow from Graeme Revel's score to "The Crow: City of Angels"
15. Partying: The Return of the French Mafia from 's score to "The Triplets of Belleville"
16. Long Night Alone: Dreaming in Metaphors from Seal's "Seal (1994)"
17. Final Battle: Thank You for Hearing Me from Sinéad O'Connor's "Universal Mother"
18. Death Scene: This is a Rebel Song from Sinéad O'Connor's "Gospel Oak"
19. Funeral: I Can Hew from Oak Ash & Thorn
- Location:Embassy Suites Palm Desert Resort
- Mood: bored
- Music:See above
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
pessimistic
This netted me about 150,000 more people (that's a 50% increase with a single addition). I'm still waiting for Barack Obama to accept me, and Hillary Clinton doesn't have a LinkedIn profile.
And as if that weren't awesome enough, here's the targeted advertising gmail put above that message:
l- Location:The Burrow
- Mood: calm
Following my last blog, E the E pointed out to me that "self pity isn’t sexy," so I have been attempting to remain relentlessly positive since then. My birthday dinner with the Family went quite well, and life in general has been fine over the past several days.
I’m following the advice in "What Color is Your Parachute," and performing a major self-assessment before continuing my job search. I’m going to the gym every day and eating [mostly] right. I’m cleaning up after myself, getting the dishes clean on a regular basis, and will be attacking my piles of clean clothes tomorrow.
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood:
cranky
- Location:The Burrow
- Mood: depressed
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